This panther doesn't have a single funny bone in his body.

Grade: D

The Pink Panther 2

Indian Release Date: 27/02/09
CBFC Classification:  U/A
Running Length: 1 Hour 33 Minutes

Cast: Steve Martin, Emily Mortimer, Jean Reno, Alfred Molina, Andy Garcia, Yuki Matsuzaki, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, John Cleese, Lily Tomlin
Director: Harald Zwart
Screenplay: Scott Neustadter, Michael H. Weber & Steve Martin
Cinematography: Denis Crossan
Music: Christophe Beck

The Pink Panther 2 is the tenth movie in the series counting the original eight movies & the 2006 remake and its sequel. Now I have never been a huge fan of the original Pink Panther movies (loved the cartoons though) ,I did however, enjoy Peter Seller’s take on the character of Inspector Jacques Clouseau, something which Steve Martin has failed to do for me in both the movies. I have nothing against Steve Martin; in fact I am a huge fan of his work right from the brilliant The Jerk (1979) to Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) to Bowfinger (1999) & many more movies but his Inspector Clouseau is so much of an extreme caricature that all the charm of the innocent bumbling of Peter Sellers is lost. There is a very fine line between being confident & arrogant & while Peter Sellers Clouseau falls into the former while Steve Martin’s interpretation runs amok in the latter, which when combined with the sheer stupidity & cluelessness he displays becomes more than just a tad bit irritating & at least for me, makes the character not one bit likable.

The plot for this sorry excuse for a movie goes something like this, an international thief who goes by the moniker of ‘The Tornado’ has been pulling off high profile thefts of historical artifacts around the world in places like Japan, England (The Magna Carta)  & Italy (The Shroud of Turin). Obviously since the movie is a Pink Panther, he is bound to strike in France, & that too stealing the Pink Panther diamond (apparently the Mona Lisa & other treasures in the Louvre weren’t as valuable) which would then naturally bring Inspector Clouseau (Steve Martin) into the picture. Chief Inspector Dreyfus (John Cleese) much against his wishes, is forced to appoint Clouseau to head an international ‘Dream Team’ of detectives comprising of Vicenzo (Andy Garcia) from Italy, Pepperidge (Alfred Molina) from England , Kenji (Yuki Matsuzaki) from Japan & Sonia (Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) an expert on The Tornado’s heists, to capture the thief & to recover the artifacts. Also along for the ride from the original are Clouseau’s deputy Ponton (Jean Reno) & his assistant Nicole (Emily Mortimer). As the team starts to work together more thefts occur, Clouseau wrecks almost every possible investigation & also looks on the verge of losing his love Nicole to Vicenzo & his dignity & respect too. Anyone expecting anything less than a supremely happy ending needs to get their brain checked right away, cause Clouseau will run around for most of the movie like a complete imbecile only to solve the crime in the last ten minutes like a bloody genius who just woke from a deep slumber.  

The first movie in 2006 was no masterpiece, in fact light-years away from it, but in comparison to this one it seems elevated in status ten times over. The slapstick humor has been done before, the other jokes recycled & the ones which show promise are left incomplete or abruptly discarded in favor of something cheap. For a movie which plays around with so many accents, it sure does make each one look more ridiculous than the other. For example why does John Cleese, who’s the chief Inspector of Police in Paris have a perfect British accent while Steve Martin has an over the top French one? Aishwarya Rai Bachchan can barely hold onto one accent, she goes from a neutral one to trying an American one to even attempting a British one in the climax. Maybe the makers just wanted to have a more global reach rather than having to stick to one accent.

I would credit Steve Martin as having tried everything within his ability to elicit laughs from the audience, but the jokes fall flat even before they are done. Most likely you’d be sitting through the entire experience with only one expression on your face & that is of utter boredom, maybe you’d even want to do what John Cleese does in the movie, go and bang your head against the wall in the bathroom out of pure frustration. The only parts which made me barely chuckle were the interactions between the P.R. counselor Mrs. Berenger (Lily Tomlin) who tries to teach Clouseau some political correctness & watching Clouseau trying to sneak around Avellaneda’s (Jeremy Irons) estate while being watched on the security system, everything else was just pure torture. The opening credits sequence with the animated Clouseau chasing the Pink Panther was amusing & could have been worth the price of ticket if you didn’t have to sit through the rest of the movie.

I can only imagine the impact of the economic recession has had on Hollywood that actors of such great talent agreed to be part of this steaming pile of dung; I guess everybody needs to pay the bills at home. Though Steve Martin tries hard he doesn’t make much of a positive impression, which is true of the rest of the cast too. The only one who’s likable is Emily Mortimer with her sweet little performance. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan manages to be the most boring of the lot with her incredibly plastic act & doesn’t look half as good as she does in some movies back home like Jodhaa Akbar (2008).

If juvenile humor filled with sexual innuendoes meant for ten year olds & slapstick comedy that makes you groan, is your cup of tea then don’t miss The Pink Panther 2, for the rest who like their comedies to be actually funny, avoid it, lest you want to see a Pink Panther 3 in the future.

Final Verdict: Go watch the original Pink Panther (1963) or if you feel like it even the 2006 remake, anything’s better than this one.

Grade: D     

 

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