Only the brave shall venture to watch this movie!

Grade: F

Jimmy

Indian Release Date: 09/05/08
CBFC Classification:  U/A
Running Length: 1 Hour 50 Minutes

Cast: Mimoh Chakraborty, Zulfi Syed, Aashish Vidyarthi, Rati Agnihotri, Rahul Dev, Shakti Kapoor, Nilofer, Vivana
Director: Raj N Sippy
Screenplay: Ranbir Pushp
Cinematography: S. Pappu
Music: Anand Raj Anand, Bappa Lahri & Vijay Verma

The conversation had started innocently enough, we were attempting to compile the ten worst films of the year when I suggested 'Jimmy' as one of them. However I had never seen the movie and had no desire to and Dan refused to include it in the list without one of us having watched it. I decided I could live with that. It was then that I made my fatal mistake… a mistake that would haunt me for life… This is how it happened:

Andrea: "Wouldn't it be funny if Mimoh Chakraborty won best debut at filmfare."

Dan: -Blank, horrified look, gasps, then starts to choke, his face turning red-

Andrea: "Relax, it was just a joke, you can get that look off your face now."

Dan: "You've traumatised me for life with that mental image, you must pay for your crimes, you must now… WATCH JIMMY!"

Andrea: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Such cruelty… such punishment… I shall never joke about such matters again. I will most certainly not be mentioning Harman Bhaweja's name as a possible candidate in case I'm forced to watch Love Story 2050… but that's another story entirely.

And so realizing my grave mistake I sat down to watch Jimmy, determined to complete my penance by completing it in full. I soon realized where the makers had gone wrong… they thought they were meant to be making a B Grade 1980s film starring Mithun and that such films are actually still popular. What else could possibly explain the "hero's" entry, the lack of any real plot and terribly hammy acting.

So first we will discuss the "plot", I use that term very loosely. Jimmy (Apna Mimoh) is a mechanic by day and a 'dance sensation' and DJ by night. I admit that he does dance well, that's the only thing he manages to do well so I have to admit it. At the beginning of the film he's just confessed to a girl's murder and been taken to jail, triggering a flash back.  Here we have Jimmy trying to pay off his late father's debts while looking after his poor sighing mother. Then he falls in love with some rich girl because she keeps crashing into his car (yeah, that type of thing always makes me fall in love too… or I'm sure it would if I had a car… maybe if somebody crashed into my auto rickshaw enough times?). He also makes friends with some rich guy after saving him from getting beaten up, and then there's some Sardarji cop played by Shakti Kapoor and a detective played by Rahul Dev.

I felt quite sorry for Rahul Dev watching him in this movie, I wonder how badly his career is going for him to agree to sign something like this. Not only has his taste been badly effected by this movie, his hair has also. Much like our "hero", Rahul sports an absolutely terrible hairstyle and I'm wondering if it was done because they didn't want his hair looking better than Mimoh's or simply because he's a fool and allowed the stylists to do whatever they wanted. (Note to all aspiring actors: STAY AWAY FROM WHOEVER IS MIMOH'S STYLIST!)

Now it is time to mention Mimoh's hair… which could qualify as a character all by itself in this movie. It is long and straggly, blonded and looks like it hasn't been washed or combed for a week. In fact it looks like some hairy animal crawled onto Mimoh's head and died there… Forget the rest of the movie, I was traumatised by his hair alone.

So now we will discuss the "villain", who is perhaps one of the only decent looking people in the whole movie (yeah so now that I've said that you'll be able to guess who it is from the very beginning). Luckily he did not allow Mimoh's stylist to do anything to his hair, he was smart. So our villain… oh fine I'm just going to come out and say it, it's the rich best friend… fell in love with Mimoh's girlfriend's pics after they were emailed to him and then enacted a whole conspiracy to bring about Mimoh's downfall after his marriage proposal for her is rejected. Well sorry, I didn't think the girl was all that good to warrant that… hello, other fish in the sea, water under the bridge, move on you loser.

But Mr. Villain whose name is Manmeet or something like that does not want to move on. He has been gravely insulted by the heroine's father who has dared to tell him "You are a rejected person!" Nooooooooooooooooooooooo the humiliation!! He can not deal with this! In the climax scene he continues to ask "Am I rejected person now??? Am I rejected person now??" And I felt like screaming "YES YOU LOSER, YOU BLOODY WELL ARE, WHY THE HELL DID YOU SIGN UP TO THIS MOVIE EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO ACT??? DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF SELF WORTH???"

But of course it was too late, Mr Villain Manmeet had already sealed his fate by appearing in one of the worst movies ever made and will now be condemned to B grade films for the rest of his life.

And so to finish off I shall comment on Apna Mimoh…. Hmmm what to say… how to phrase it politely…

Mimoh is a shining example of why star children should not get an automatic ticket to act in films. He seems to think that simpering, making puppy dog eyes (and not very successfully at that) and frowning count for acting. His voice is annoying and grating and sounds like a whining five year old's. His body is built like… well in Australia we have a rather rude phrase for it but here I think I'd just better say 'A bull's', and he seems to think that looking downwards in shots will help to hide his inability to act.

Please do not let him make any more movies because I know that if he does I am going to be forced into watching them. Oh dear god no.

And so dear readers, please do not ever watch this movie, not even by mistake, not even for amusement…please stay as far away from it as humanly possible.

Unless you want to end up like me… scarred for the rest of my life and now permanently scared by men with badly dyed blonde hair.

Final Verdict: You are a rejected movie!!!

Grade: D… no wait, F…. no wait, Z…. well nothing is really low enough.

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